 |
| A nice looking, candy coloured roller. Erik likes colour |
Erik says 'be nice to yourself'
Erik also says 'beat yourself up, in a good way'
Both commands (said in an awfully nice way) are essential, although the second might seem somewhat contradictory.
Contradiction is at the heart of this undertaking, in any case. It takes the form of an ongoing squabble inside my head. The combatants are Mrs Real World and Mrs I Am Amazing. Mrs RW's record goes like this: 'I am a 51 year old woman, FFS, I must look ridiculous to the younger, shapelier clients that sometimes come along to train. What is the point of driving that ageing carcass into a sweaty aching place?'
Mrs IAA beams and points to Age-related gradings on The Power of 10. I'll bang on about that sometime, if I haven't already (memory's going too)
Look at you, say the honeyed tones of Mrs IAA
'you're so GOOD for your age. You run fast 5ks, faster than 77% of runners in your age group. Well done, you'
I don't really like Mrs IAA. Is she being patronising? And when I'm sweatily trying to nail 60 Crossbow moves before my minute is up, is Erik laughing at me?
That is not beating yourself up in a good way, though, that is savaging yourself. That is self harm.
You do this because you love it, don't let what onlookers may or may not be thinking contaminate your happy place. Stay the running Pollyanna. Be nice.
Today at team Shape U Erik made me do the circuits with 'explosive speed' but urged me to take a rest as soon as my movements became slower. That was hard, because the battleaxe inside me wants to go till she drops:
Tyre slams, medicine ball slams, crossbow, planks with arm reaches, underground, side to side. It was hard. I was sweaty, aching, and now I have to go and run a Parkrun (unofficial, but I'll have to keep up)
No comments:
Post a Comment